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How to Unconditionally Love Another

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All of the blog posts are written by Arien Smith with the intention to heal, inform, and expand every reader. Three posts a week: Monday Mindfulness, Wednesday Yoga, Saturday Reflections. 

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How to Unconditionally Love Another

Arien Smith

Love can lead to a whole myriad of wonderful things, presuming there is mutual respect for our partners, friends, and family. Those we choose to open our hearts to are given a great gift, since love is the sustenance of the entire Universe—pure life force in its divine form. How we navigate the road of loving someone very much determines how divine our love can be. Too often, we’ll witness, live, or hear about codependent relationships, where there is a taking and giving connection or an addiction to each other’s presence. This unfortunately dampens the transcendent nature of unconditional love, rather than creating the freedom for full compassionate expression.

The most fulfilling and divine relationships are those that we recognize both our individuality and union with our loved one. This, of course, can apply to any relationship in our life—not just those of romance, but I happened to learn the joy of this lesson from my closest friend and romantic partner. Speaking through this lens tends to be easier, but when we learn of this form of love, we can apply it to our relationships with all things and all people. 

A little bit ago, I was thinking about the path I’ve walked with my partner so far and how we complement each other. I’m sure you’ve heard how in healthy relationships both individuals should “complement” and not “complete” each other—since completing each other negates the unique sense of wholeness and can become destructive in the case of lost love. When we complement someone and we recognize this, we make a huge amount of room for both self-love and love for the other.

Whenever I think of visualizing the power of the complementing connection, I see a path that I’m walking, beside my partner, hand in hand. There is a little line of grass between our individual roads, where we can easily connect with each other along this journey while recognizing that only we can walk our own individual path. At times, I picture the grass between my partner and I growing or shrinking—growing when we need some distance, space, or the potential of our journey together parting in the future; shrinking when we make plans to visit each other or speak of our future together. Knowing that this path has moments where we can closely hold hands always increases the deep sense of unconditional love. Knowing that we are still in the same world, even when our paths have a field between them, helps me to trust in the love and honor the depth of our connection when we are side by side. 

This specific imagery may or may not resonate with your partnerships, friendships, and familial relationships, but humbly recognizing the transcendent and beautiful nature of sharing parts of your own life path with these individuals can transform how you view all your relationships. Just for a second imagine a huge web of paths and all the times your path has come close to that of another’s, all while you continue walking forwards. It lends a new perspective to the power of connecting with each and every person—whether stranger or friend. 

All relationships, to individuals and objects are impermanent, so when we recognize the joy of walking a path alongside another person, it becomes easier to both accept the temporary nature of this connection and the value of each moment with this loved one. Through this, we can come to recognize the eternal nature of our love and how our entire path forwards can radiate with this energy. Love is the opposite of impermanence, love is infinite and forever. It can exist, unconditionally, when we are connected to another or even when we are walking our own individual path with expansive fields of grass around us. Coming to honor the moments we walk parallel with another can truly transform how much compassion we bring these relationships.

It is through the acceptance that we are always walking a path separate to those we love that opens the doors for true unconditional love. At times, we might fear this recognition, believing that if we are separate than the love will not last, but examining this more closely will teach us that through this we are actually making space for this love. Instead of attaching this love to another person we believe represents unconditional love, we realize that unconditional love comes within only ourselves. Then, we can share it with another and brighten their path with such heartfelt devotion. 

 

Loving relationships often begin with self-compassion and a recognition of the light along your own path, but sometimes uncovering this takes a guiding hand. I’ve worked with clients to guide them exactly towards this self-love during mindfulness life coaching session. If you’re looking for the same transcendent change in your life, so you can open your arms to such loving connections, it would be an honor to walk this part of your path with you. Here’s all the information you need to invest in this.