Just a brief warning, this blog post briefly mentions some material that could be upsetting or triggering to some readers. There are no in-depth graphic descriptions.
Today I came forward to my amazing supervisor at college about sexual abuse I had suffered over the last year. I needed help and I had finally learned how to advocate for myself, so I turned to a person who could provide me with resources and was also an incredible friend and mentor. When I did speak with her, there was so much empathy and support in the conversation. My supervisor questioned "why do the brightest and most loving individuals seem to go through the worst hardships?" I had questioned the Universe too, begging for an answer of why this seemingly unjust act always happened. It was a problem that I once had blamed the Universe for: why had It subjected me to such severe pain and trauma?
Over time, I learned to trust the Universe and let go of blaming the Universe's for trauma. I realized that the Universe only sends us love, but people with intense enough of egos to selfishly leave the love of the Universe and take advantage of another person were the cause of such trauma that innocent people experienced. It was only today that I really understood how much the Universe really trusts us to become and express ourselves as beings of love, especially when faced with people who consciously turned their heads from this radiant and unconditional presence.
When someone's sole mission is to bring light, love, and healing to themselves and the rest of the world, they are incredibly aligned with the Universe. It's palpable to everyone who meets them just how bright the individual is: as they heal, others heal around them. Yet, it seems that hardship after hardship hit these healers, often at the hands of someone unaligned who turned away from the love of the Source.
In my case, I was raped for over a year. The entire time I prayed to understand why the Universe wouldn't let me shine brighter by stopping the trauma and healing me. Slowly, I realized that the Universe wasn't subjecting me to this torment, the ego of the person violating me was the sole creator of trauma.
Coming to this realization helped me to further discover how much the Universe trusted me. It was constantly saying, "Arien, you're bright, you're strong, the Universe believes in you." It trusted me with my inner light. It trusted that it would continue to burn bright even when trauma tried to suppress the flame.
Today, when talking with my supervisor, we discussed this. The confusion over seeing loving people subjected to pain was intense and hard to comprehend, neither her nor I fully understood the reason wonderful people seemed to go through the hardest experiences. I explained what I had learned so far, and the Universe guided my words into a new realization for both her and I. It became clear to us that our brightness, and those of other loving beings subjected to trauma, was so bright that our highest selves chose to sometimes face the strongest of egos. Innate in our beings was a desire to heal and with our Highest Selves believing in us (along with the trust of the whole Universe), we knew we could take on the biggest and most toxic of egos.
It still wasn't our choice to go through what we had survived, of course. It was the toxicity of the perpetrator that imposed pain onto us. But we allowed ourselves to remain bright and healing throughout it, even in our weakest moments, and through that our Higher Selves showed us how to radiate healing even in such situations where so much selfish ego trying to consume us. The ego will try to consume the Source, the light of the Universe, because it fears the power of love. So when someone with an overpowered ego sees someone with a bright flame of pure love, the person will try to smother that flame.
It won't work, because the Universe has trusted that love is stronger than everything else. Love is stronger than all of the trauma that every beautiful person faces. With the desire to heal oneself, we face and dwell in the sanctuary of that love and we are unstoppable. Our Highest Selves know this, so sometimes it falsely appears to us that the Universe doesn't seem to "protect" us from painful situations. It doesn't need to, because the core of our beings knows that we are already going to win, survive, and thrive. The fire of love in us will win, no matter how many people try to tear it away from us.
The Universe believes that we are strong enough to face even the worst of trials at the hands of others, simply because we have chosen to make love our priority. Love will never fail and our deepest selves know this.